Kalki Koechlin says it ‘breaks my heart’ when daughter Sappho calls herself ‘ugly’: ‘I think about raising a powerful girl all the time’
Kalki Koechlin recently opened up about the challenges of parenting daughter Sappho, revealing that it deeply affects her when the five-year-old criticises her own appearance. The actress said she constantly thinks about raising a confident and independent daughter and believes such moments are opportunities to understand how children see themselves.Speaking on Lilly Singh’s podcast, Kalki Koechlin reflected on motherhood, self-image and the importance of helping children navigate their emotions from an early age.
Kalki Koechlin on daughter Sappho calling herself ‘ugly’
During the conversation, the Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara actress was asked whether she consciously thinks about raising a “powerful” daughter.“I think about it all the time,” Kalki replied.She then shared that her daughter Sappho often goes through changing perceptions of herself. While there are days when she wants to feel like a princess, there are also moments when she says, “I am not pretty, I am ugly.”“It breaks my heart,” Kalki Koechlin admitted, recalling the first time she heard those words.The actress said her initial instinct was to reassure Sappho by telling her, “Of course, you are. You are like sunshine. You are the most beautiful person I know.”However, when her daughter disagreed and became upset, Kalki realised that simply contradicting her wasn’t enough.
How Kalki Koechlin helps daughter Sappho build confidence
Instead of dismissing her daughter’s feelings, Kalki Koechlin chose to understand where they were coming from.She asked Sappho which part of herself she felt was “ugly” and used the example of elephants, explaining that despite their large bodies and unusual trunks, many people still find them beautiful.According to Kalki, it’s important for parents to unpack such emotions rather than ignore them, as these conversations help children develop a healthier understanding of beauty and self-worth.
Kalki Koechlin says parents should focus on raising emotionally aware boys
During the podcast, Kalki Koechlin also stressed that parenting isn’t only about empowering girls.She said parents should pay equal attention to raising boys, encouraging them to express emotions freely and understand that crying or being vulnerable is completely normal.Kalki added that children learn more from what adults do than what they say. She believes parents’ behaviour, along with films and storytelling, plays an important role in showing children that there isn’t just one way to live life.“They can be anything they want,” she said.Kalki Koechlin shares daughter Sappho with her husband, Israeli musician Guy Hershberg. The couple welcomed Sappho via water birth on February 7, 2020, and later married in 2024 after being in a long-term relationship. They currently live in Goa, where they are raising their daughter together.
